Ceci just called me "Stinky McPinkbelly". She's so weird! That is not my name! My name is Auggie when I'm good and Augustus when she's not happy.
I forgot to tell everyone that I met my friend Lucy last week. She lives with a cool guy named John Mack. They are so nice! Lucy shared her dinner with me! My tummy got so big that night!
Lucy is 112 years old! (That's 16 to you humans) She's so smart, she knows much more about things than any dog I know. I'm not saying Roux is dumb, but all she does is talk about Be Ay El Els. Whatever that is.
When Lucy and I were getting to know each other better by sniffing each others tail holes she said I didn't have a dirty lipstick. Lucy said that's what boy dogs have. I told her I'm a girl! Duh! And you know what Lucy told me? Auggie Earl is a boy's name! I was so mad and confused! I didn't think Ceci would do something mean to me. But she does keep trying to make me play with Roux even though she's scary so maybe she is mean!
Ceci and I sat down and had a long talk. She told me about the two men I was named after: Augustus McCrae and Robert Earl Keen. I remember dancy-dancing to Robert Earl Keen on my first day at Ceci's house. I like him! And Augustus McCrae sounds like a really cool guy, too. So, we're cool now.
My teeth hurt really bad and Ceci is being a meanie head and won't let me chew on her. I have to go find my green squeaky thing. Bye-bye!